


Turning Out

by Paidendryl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Childhood Trauma, Depression, Drugs, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Langst, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Self-Acceptance Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships, archive warnings may change as well, dark themes are used, don't worry with darkness there is light, high levels of anxiety, if it wasn't so dark this would be a very cute story, klangst, lance is badly broken and damaged, lance is really trying to be happy, lots of bonding and falling in love, more will be added if needed - Freeform, there will be good times, this is not a good fic, though he refuses to acknowledge it, too many tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 15:52:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12324135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paidendryl/pseuds/Paidendryl
Summary: "I love you," Lance said, the tips of his ears burning red. He was bowing slightly, head tipped forward to obscure the embarrassment flushing his face. He was shaking with nerves, that much he could tell. But who could blame him? Theone guyhe had actually had the guts to confess to was right in front of him. He swallowed, awaiting the answer with baited breath.However, the reaction he got was worse than he had imagined.There was a snort, followed by a laugh, "You. You're joking, right?" They said, and Lance felt his insides shrivel up. He could do this, he could still save face and bluff his way out."No," His voice said, betraying his thoughts, "I'm not."The answer was instantaneous."That's disgusting."- - -Or, a confession to a beloved childhood friend leaves a searing scar to the future. Love seems like an incredible mercy that Lance is far from deserving.





	Turning Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: Homophobic actions and slur.

… _There’s always one defined moment in our lifetime that leaves lasting marks on who we become in our future. Mine just happened to be the worst of them all._

\- - -

"I love you," Lance said, the tips of his ears burning red, he was bowing slightly, head tipped forward to obscure the embarrassment flushing his face. He was shaking with nerves that much he could tell. But who could blame him? The _one guy_ he had actually had the guts to confess to was right in front of him. He swallowed, awaiting the answer with baited breath.

He had been waiting to say them all day, and at long last, he was now standing under a shady part of his soon to be old middle school. He felt his cheeks grow warmer as the seconds ticked by, making him buzz with anticipation for the long awaited answer. Seriously, two years of hiding a crush from one of his close friends was no easy feat. He only hoped he would still have a friend should the other reject him.

However, the reaction he got was worse than he had imagined.

There was a snort, followed by a laugh, "You. You're joking, right?" They said, and Lance felt his insides shrivel up. He could do this, he could still save face and bluff his way out.

"No," His voice said, betraying his thoughts, "I'm not."

The answer was instantaneous.

“That’s disgusting.”

Shock ran through his brain at the response, leaving him speechless. A haunting dread had begun to curl up deeply inside of Lance’s stomach, along with a sharp pool of fear that prickled down through his nervous system. He gulped, bringing his eyes to meet the other.

“W-what?” He squeaked, feeling his palms grow sweatier. He knew that having his heart broken was inevitable, but those words…were they necessary?

The boy in front of him stared down with his piercing grey eyes, not once feeling the slightest bit of remorse for his words, “That’s disgusting,” he repeated. Lance reached out towards him, but he stepped back quickly, acting as though Lance had some horrific contagious disease.

“You don’t mean that,” he said weakly, “Y-you can’t mean that…r-right?” he said, stepping towards him again.

But the boy refused to back down and instead went to shove Lance as hard as he could, “I _do_ mean that. You’re disgusting!”

Lance didn’t have the strength to keep himself planted as he was pushed back. He could hardly even move. He was so stupid! How could he have thought confessing would be okay? He kept his head down as he heard a crowd moving in, no doubt the other kids wanted to see what kind of new drama was unfolding right on the last day of school. He could hear the murmuring amongst his fellow classmates and it took everything inside of him to keep from bolting.

“How could you say that?” he found himself asking, he looked up, blinking back tears, “You’re my friend, how could you say that?”

The boy looked sickened, “How could I not?” he replied back, as though the answer was so obvious, “You took advantage of my trust, didn’t you? I never would’ve hung out with you if I had known you were…”

This time Lance’s eyes hardened and he felt anger rise up inside with the betrayal stirring along with his pain, “Known I was a what?” he said, voice trembling. He did his best to prepare himself for the response, knowing full well that answer would probably hurt him a hundred times more.

And indeed he was right.

The other stared at him icily, before twisting his face into a disgusted sneer as he opened his mouth to say, “A fag.”

If Lance had something to say, it was silent. Any retort had died upon his tongue the moment he heard the one person he trusted most call him that. He nodded deftly, picking himself up off the ground. Already the word was being tossed around by the other kids, their eyes staring at him with judgement as though they decided what he would become. He sniffled, not bothering with trying to hold back all of his tears, and he began to try and quickly make his way out of the area.

He couldn’t handle the stares or the whispers of murmuring words that threatened to suffocate him. He just needed to get home right away. Everything would be so much better the moment he got to his home and was wrapped up in his mama’s arms. He did his best to ignore the slurs being tossed in his direction as he left, and he did his best not to break down as some students decided to toss their after school snacks at him.

It hurt hearing their words.

It hurt knowing that some part of him that he couldn’t control was being shunned. It hurt knowing he was being punished for something he didn’t ask for.

He met the eyes of some of his classmates and watched as their once friendly faces turned into calculating, distant stares. Lance wanted to tell them that he was still him, but knew that it would be in vein and he couldn’t understand _why_.

“Hey!” The boy’s voice called out, he paused, “Delete my number! Don’t ever call me or look at me ever again! If you do, _you’ll be sorry_!”

Lance wanted to say he already was.

As he finally got home, he burst through his front door and sought his mother’s arms. He knew he had probably scared the living daylights out of her, since he had come home bawling his eyes out with loud cries.

“Mama,” he sobbed, clinging to her as she tried desperately to calm him down. He had told her what happened, told her how badly he had messed up, told her how his friend had hurt him with those words, “Mama am I _disgusting_? Am I _dirty_?”

His mother held him tightly, concern thick in her eyes as she squeezed him lightly, “No, mijito,” she cooed, “No, never.”

“Then why,” he gasped, burrowing his head against her stomach, “then why did they say I am?”

His mother let out a small noise and kissed his head, “The world is very close-minded, Lance. They just don’t know how to react.”

“Well I hate it!” He cried, “I hate them! And I hate me!”

“Don’t say that!” His mother reprimanded, “Don’t ever hate yourself for the world,” she said, pulling him away from her and giving him a sharp, but caring, look, “Con el tiempo todo se consigue,” She said, “In time, everything is gotten and will be achieved. This is one bump in the road my Lancey Lance, you need to have patience with the world. Things will get better,” she gave him a smile, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears that marred her child’s face. It broke her heart to see such a sight.

Lance sniffled, his body shaking. He leaned into his mother’s arms once more, hugging her and just basking in her comforting warmth.

“Things will get better,” she assured him, rubbing his back lightly.

But for Lance, things never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story deals with a lot of dark stuff that some readers may find uncomfortable. If you are easily triggered and bothered by this, then I suggest you think twice before continuing on. This story is for me to get more practice with mature themes such as this. I apologize if it offends you, I am trying to work with what I know and what I see. If there are any misconceptions, please help me out.
> 
> Chapters will be longer than this, I'm sorry the first was so short!
> 
> **Note: this is very risky for me for me to write, considering the sensitive people in this fandom. Please take note that you have been warned and refrain from leaving any mean or hateful comments.**
> 
>  
> 
> But other than that! All comments are accepted! Please feel free to leave me your thoughts and opinions! I'd love to hear them and they'd be such a great help!
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Also, please forgive me for any grammar errors. 
> 
> And if you'd like to help me with the language translation, please let me know! My Spanish isn't well up to par, so if you can help, I'd greatly appreciate it!


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